Pam Solem-Weser MC,LPC,PLLC   Licensed Professional Counselor
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Marriage and Relationship Counseling

In working with relationships, I use a highly effective, research-based therapy in which studies with distressed couples have found that:  

  • 90% of couples reported significant improvement in their relationship
  • 70-73% reported complete absence of distress at the end of therapy  
  • Trends indicated relationships continued to improve after therapy ended  

This therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), helps couples end the loneliness and pain in their strained relationships. Problems such as:
  • poor communication
  • pain of infidelity
  • lack of intimacy
  • lost feelings of love 
are solved by creating a deep level of trust and closeness in the relationship.

The basis for EFT is found in attachment research.  Attachment theory states that everyone has a need to feel close and connected with others, and this is especially true with our partner.  When partners feel insecure and/or distant from each other, they can get caught in negative, self-reinforcing patterns of interaction.  In these patterns, both people hide their deeper feelings such as hurt, sadness, loneliness, or fear and instead show defensive feelings of anger or indifference.  This results in both parties seeing only the outward expressions of hostility or apathy in the other, which creates distance between them. 

 

EFT helps break these negative cycles of interaction and establish a safe, secure bond where couples feel close and connected with each other. As their intimacy deepens, they are able to solve their problems more easily. 

I am a member of the International Centre For Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) in Ottawa, Canada, which was established by the founder of the theory, Dr. Sue Johnson, to ensure that the research, training, and implementation of EFT continues its high standard of excellence.  I have completed the basic training and year-long advanced training and supervision to become an 
Advanced EFT Therapist and use EFT therapy with all of my couple and family clients.  I have enjoyed great success with using EFT to help couples establish close, connected relationships.

For more info on EFT and for relationship assessments, see Resources section of this website. 
     


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